…NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY!
Sadly, many people in the world today still believe that choosing adoption is an easy choice for birth parents. The amount of thought and emotional torment that likely has gone into the decision is often ignored. The “forever” commitment is not only a reality for adoptive families, but also for birth parents, and this same commitment can help both families in the adoption
Throughout the process it’s important for birth parents to make a commitment to discuss and work through the emotions that come with the magnitude of choosing adoption.
Here are a few things to think about and work through:
It is important to look for a reputable agency or adoption attorney that will allow you to ask questions without any pressure. There are no stupid questions so write down every thing you can think of. There is no cookie cutter situation so make sure you’re covering your concerns, not just the ones an adoption professional may bring up.
Any adoption professional that makes you feel rushed is not the one for you. This may be the biggest decision you will ever make and you have the right to take as long as you need to make it.
Write Down Your “Why”
It is so important to keep that “why” in front of you. There will be times that birth parents will revisit this original piece of paper and it helps them rise above the emotion that’s pushing against it. There will also be times that the “why” has changed, but looking at the original reason can also help with the confirmation of that change.
Prepare for Ignorant Questions
Ignorance surrounding adoption can be found everywhere. You may get questions like “how can you do this?” or “don’t you think you’re being selfish?”. Remember NO ONE is entitled to your story, so whether you answer or not is completely up to you. If you choose to answer, your “WHY” can assist you.
Ask for Support
This is not an easy choice, but you don’t need to walk it alone. Sometimes family members won’t understand what you are going through, but there are others out there who have walked a similar path. On-line or in person support groups might help when you need to talk about the feelings you are experiencing. You are entitled to counseling and your adoption professional can connect you with an adoption competent counselor or support groups that can assist in helping you work through emotions as they come up.
Set Your Expectations
Every adoption looks different and it is important for you to understand all of your options. Your adoption specialist can assist you in understanding all of your options and help you begin the journey of adoption with an adoptive family who has the same expectations as you.
This list only touches on a few of the topics birth parents should consider. On top of the emotional aspects we’ve touched on, you also will have to consider the legal aspects. You have rights and understanding those rights are important in making your decision.
If you are pregnant and considering adoption, you may feel scared and confused. My staff and I can help you understand the adoption process and your options. We work with expectant mothers who are already matched with adoptive parents, those who want to be matched with adoptive parents, and those who are already working with an attorney or agency but would like their own legal representation. Please call 727-800-6681 if you need assistance with an adoption.