Adoption may be on your mind if you’re faced with an unexpected pregnancy. But how do you get started looking for an adoptive family? How will you know when it’s the right fit?
There’s no denying that this is a huge decision. It is likely an emotional one as well. But being able to choose the right family for your child may make it a little easier.
Here are some tips that will help you make the right choice.
Make a List of Deal-Breakers and Desires
Chances are you’re already dreaming about what type of family you’d like to place your child with. You probably also have non-negotiable deal-breakers you are not willing to accept in an adoptive family. Make a list of all the things you do and don’t want for your child.
Asking yourself questions will help you make the list:
-Do you want your child to be raised with particular religious beliefs?
-Do you want your child to be the first child for the adoptive parents or are you okay with a large family of kids?
Perhaps you want to be even more specific: would you like parents who homeschool, parents who are creative, or parents who share your political beliefs?
Decide if You Want an Open Adoption
You may want some version of an open adoption, meaning you will maintain communication with the adoptive family and child. This could mean visits, phone calls, or letters. Whatever level of involvement you’d like in your child’s life, you need to be on the same page as the adoptive parents.
Don’t avoid nailing down the specifics of how open the adoption will be. The last thing you want to do is assume a family will be okay with you seeing your child, only to learn they weren’t as open as you thought.
Make Contact
If you find several families who match your criteria, don’t be afraid to reach out. You can start with emails or phone calls. You might find that you just get a certain feeling about a particular family, even if on paper they weren’t your first choice.
It’s important to trust your instincts with the adoption process. Even if a family doesn’t meet all your criteria, you may get a sense after communicating with them that they are a perfect fit.
Take it Slow
With such an important decision, it’s okay to take your time. Even though the prospective parents you speak with may be incredibly eager for you to make a decision, don’t ever let yourself feel rushed.
When you find a family you’re interested in, get to know them. Meet them in person and ask them questions. Get a sense of who they are and what life with them would look like for your child.
You have an incredible opportunity to select a loving family for your child. Don’t take it lightly and don’t let anyone else influence you. You are choosing the family who will raise your child, and you deserve ample time to choose which one you think is best.
Need Help with the Adoption Process?
Contact Florida licensed adoption attorney, Tammi Driver, for assistance with placing a child for adoption. Call 727-800-6681.
Frequently Asked Questions About Finding an Adoptive Family in Florida
How do I find an adoptive family for my baby in Florida?
If you are considering adoption in Florida, an adoption attorney, agency, or other adoption professional can help you review prospective adoptive families. You can consider factors that matter to you, ask questions, meet prospective parents, and choose a family you believe is a good fit for your child.
Can I choose who adopts my baby?
Yes. In a private adoption, a birth mother can generally participate in choosing the prospective adoptive parents. You do not have to accept the first family presented to you, and you can consider multiple families before deciding whom you would like to get to know.
What should I look for when choosing adoptive parents?
There is no single type of adoptive family that is right for every situation. You might consider the family’s values, lifestyle, location, relationship, other children, extended family, education, religion, parenting philosophy, and willingness to maintain contact after the adoption. What matters most depends on what you want for your child.
How can I learn about prospective adoptive families?
Prospective adoptive parents often create profiles that provide information about their lives, families, homes, interests, and hopes for parenting. You may also have opportunities to speak with or meet prospective parents and ask questions before deciding whether you feel comfortable moving forward with them.
Can I meet an adoptive family before choosing them?
Yes. Depending on the circumstances, you may be able to communicate with prospective adoptive parents by phone or video call or meet them in person. Getting to know a family can help you decide whether their personalities, values, and expectations align with what you want for your child.
What questions should I ask potential adoptive parents?
You can ask about anything that is important to you. Common topics include parenting styles, childcare plans, education, religion, extended family, where they live, whether they have other children, their reasons for adopting, and their expectations for contact with you after the adoption.
Can I choose an adoptive family based on religion, lifestyle, or family structure?
A birth mother can consider characteristics that are important to her when reviewing prospective adoptive families. Some women may prioritize religion, location, siblings, family structure, cultural background, lifestyle, education, or other qualities when deciding which family they would like to consider.
Can I choose a family that lives outside Florida?
Yes, an out-of-state family may potentially adopt a child born in Florida. Interstate adoptions involve additional legal procedures before the child can leave Florida with the adoptive family, so the adoption professionals involved will need to coordinate the applicable interstate requirements.
What if I already know someone I want to adopt my baby?
You may be able to pursue a private adoption with a family you already know rather than being matched with a family by an agency or adoption professional. The prospective parents will still need to satisfy the applicable legal requirements for adoption.
Can a relative adopt my baby instead of a family I don’t know?
Potentially, yes. A grandparent, sibling, aunt, uncle, or another relative may be able to adopt your child if the legal requirements are satisfied. Relative adoption still involves a formal legal process even though the child is being adopted within the family.
Can I change my mind about the adoptive family I selected?
Choosing or meeting an adoptive family does not by itself finalize an adoption or terminate your parental rights. If you become uncomfortable with a prospective family before placement, discuss your concerns with your adoption professional or attorney. You may have options for reconsidering the match depending on where you are in the process.
Can I choose an adoptive family that wants an open adoption?
Yes. If maintaining a relationship after placement is important to you, you can look for prospective adoptive parents who are comfortable with the type of openness you want. This might include photographs and updates, phone or video calls, social media contact, or in-person visits.
What if I can’t find an adoptive family that feels right?
You do not have to choose a family simply because they have been presented to you. Talk with your adoption professional about what you are looking for and whether additional prospective families are available. Taking time to identify the qualities that matter most to you can help guide the matching process.
Do I need an adoption attorney before choosing an adoptive family?
You can speak with a Florida adoption attorney at any point while considering adoption. An attorney can explain your rights, the matching and consent process, birth father issues, financial assistance, post-placement contact, and the legal steps required after you select an adoptive family.